


Shield Me From Pain

by lottielovebuzz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Domesticity, Fluff, M/M, injured!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a hunt, Dean gets seriously injured and Castiel tries to heal him. Only, he's a Fallen Angel now, and he doesn't know what he's going to do when he realises he can't protect Dean the way he used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shield Me From Pain

A part of him had expected it to happen sooner or later. After all, Sam and Dean Winchester attract death like a magnet attracts metal. But what he doesn't expect is the harsh shock of reality; the painful reminder that he has fallen; that he was powerless, weak. Useless.

That's a shock to the system.

Though, still not a big a shock as watching Dean crumple to the ground, his breath caught in his throat as he grabs the spot where that Demon stabbed him.

Cas freezes. He doesn't move as Dean finally hits the floor, doubling over on himself as he puts pressure on the wound. Doesn't move as Sam rushes over to Dean, kneels down and takes Ruby's knife and rounds on the Demon, chanting the exorcism backwards so it can't leave its meatsuit. Doesn't move as Sam drives the blade into the Demon's heart and watches as it dies, as the shocks run through its body and crumples onto the floor.

It takes Sam falling down beside Dean, trying to help him before Castiel finally thaws out. He tightens his hold on his shotgun, but the second he's kneeling beside Dean, it's on the ground and forgotten.

'Dean. Dean.' Castiel murmurs because he's been through so much with Dean Winchester already; watched him survive Hell, stop the Apocalypse, defeat the Leviathans, fight in Purgatory. He's watched Dean Winchester succeed in everything he does, and he's not about to let him die because a Demon stabbed him. 'It's going to be okay.'

He reaches out and presses two fingertips to Dean's forehead, like he's so used to doing, and he waits; waits for his Grace to pass through his fingertips into Dean and heal him. And he waits. And waits. But after a moment, he realises nothing is happening. He doesn't feel the hum as he uses his powers, doesn't feel the relief at watching Dean's face get colour again.

Then it hits him. Hard.

He's Fallen. He doesn't have Grace to use anymore. He can't heal Dean anymore.

That's when the first tear falls. Truthfully, he's still relatively new to this whole "feeling" thing, and most of the time, his feelings are so on edge that anything can set him off. But  _this_ , this he is sure counts; that they won't make fun of him this time round.

Even though he knows nothing will happen, he gently starts to brush the back of his hand against the side of Dean's face. Not trying to heal him, because he now knows that he can't, but it's just to offer him that reassuring touch. That's what human's do, right?

He's vaguely aware of Sam muttering about going to bury the bodies, but he doesn't turn to say "okay" or move to help him. He looks down into Dean's green eyes and another wave of emotion crashes down upon him.

'I failed you.' Cas declares brokenly and he sees Dean's eyes flash, and watches as his mouth opens but instead of words coming out, a stuttered cough breaks free instead. Along with a trickle of blood that Cas knows is not a good sign. 'I couldn't protect you. I'm never able to protect you. I always fail you, Dean.'

He doesn't seem to be able to stop, even though he can see in Dean's eyes that Dean wants him to stop. It isn't until Dean's hand grasps ahold of Cas' wrist, gripping hard that Castiel finally falls silent and studies Dean's face with a small frown.

Dean opens his mouth again, but it closes as second later as his eyes fall shut and his head lolls to the side.

Castiel presses two fingers to his neck and sighs in pure relief when he still feels a pulse.

He turns his head and looks over his shoulder, 'SAM!'

Cas turns back to Dean, standing up before leaning down to try and pull Dean up, but he knows he can't do it by himself now, he doesn't have the strength. He needs to wait for Sam, who hurriedly runs over to him and pulls his big brother from the ground and carries him to the Impala.

Castiel slides in beside Dean as Sam goes into the driver's seat and definitely breaks the speed limit to get his brother to the hospital, all the while listening to Castiel praying for Dean to be all right.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Dean needs to go for surgery, Sam had expected that. Castiel had not. Not really anyway. Well, he did, he just hoped Dean wouldn't have to have surgery. He should've known better.

Both Cas and Sam go into Dean's room the second he's out, but he's still under; sleeping and Sam excuses himself because he didn't get around to hiding those bodies and they can't risk them being found. So, he goes back and deals with that, trusting Castiel to not leave his brother's side and to call him when he wakes up.

Sam knows Cas will do the first, but also knows that he'll forget the second. He still hates using cellphones, and Sam knows he'll just be so happy when Dean wakes up that he'll forget all about informing him. Sam can live with that.

It's an hour after his surgery that Dean finally wakes up. The gentle fluttering of his eyes, a small groan and Cas is out of his seat and standing beside him, looking down at his face as he watches Dean blink the blurriness away and come to his senses.

'I'm so sorry, Dean.' Cas says the minute he gets a small grin from Dean, which immediately turns into a frown at Cas' words.

'What?' Dean mumbles, still not one hundred percent but slowly getting there; having to get there quick to keep up with this Fallen Angel.

'I couldn't protect you. I failed you. I'm sorry, Dean.' He repeats them over and over again, and after the third time, Dean can't hear it anymore because in the end, Dean's sure he's let Cas down just as often and just as hard.

He grabs ahold of the tie that sits crookedly around Cas' neck and tugs, and because he doesn't have his Angel strength, his body falls with the movement until Dean's lips are pressed against his and then he just doesn't care about protesting anymore.

It's a brief, hard kiss that has only one purpose; shutting Cas up and rendering him speechless long enough for Dean to say something.

'Shut up, Cas.' Dean mutters as he pulls away, and desperately tries to ignore how  _chick-flick_ this whole moment is. Even with the scar that's going to adorn his belly from where he was stabbed by a Demon; even with that, it's still such a chick-flick moment. 'It's called being human for a reason. You can't just touch someone and knit them back together. Hell, I know how hard is it, with every time I've watched you get bloody and beat up, and you were a freaking Angel of the Lord back then.'

Dean gives a chuckle, but he stops short because it gives him a soft, throbbing pain that he'd rather not deal with.

'But I'm still-'

Dean cuts him off by crashing his lips against Cas' again, his hand tightening around the tie and just to make sure he gets the message, he nips Cas' plump, lower lip before he pulls away.

'I swear, say "sorry" again, and I'll put you in a hospital bed as well.' Dean growls, before releasing the tie and letting Cas straighten just before the doctor walks in and starts to tell Dean how things are looking with him.

And if, when he gets out of hospital two days later, he's a little smug around Castiel, well, he's allowed to be, because the Fallen Angel hasn't said the word "sorry" to him ever since.

**Author's Note:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


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